Vulnerability
by savetoniqht
Summary: Glee Project fanfic: Cameron knew that something was wrong with her. His inability to let it go once he had that feeling that someone needed his help is what led to him and Marissa staying in alone while the rest of the contenders went out to eat.


_Warning: ED_

_So I haven't really been writing lately… like in the past year… but I'm completely obsessed with The Glee Project right now. Marissa's confession on the vulnerability episode was basically exactly what I needed to get me back into writing._

_This is just a one shot because I don't really know how long this writing thing will last again. :p_

_Also, I don't proofread. Maybe I will eventually, but not right now._

_I didn't mean for this to be a romantic Marissa/Cameron pairing, but you could really see it either way._

_Enjoy! Or don't, either way is cool._

* * *

><p>Cameron knew that something was wrong with her.<p>

He and Marissa weren't the closest two out of the cast of the Glee Project and he didn't know her the best, but he had always had a weirdly acute sense of other people's emotions. While it got him in trouble sometimes—some people would rather not have him prying into their issues—it caused him to be a very compassionate guy and the shoulder that many of his friends relied on, and he hated to see people going through tough times alone.

While he often put himself out there and was one of the more outgoing contenders, he also spent a good amount of time observing others around him. From the beginning—like any guy—he was first struck by Marissa's beauty. She was undeniably gorgeous. Physical appearance aside, she seemed quiet and reserved, but not in a boring sense at all. She was reserved in a way where you could tell that there was so much more to her once you broke through the surface, but it wouldn't happen right away. It took her a little while to warm up, but as the days went by she began to bring her personality out both with the other cast members and in the studio.

It was the fact that a reverse transformation seemed to be occurring that concerned him. She had just opened up and let some walls down, but he felt as though she was beginning to build the walls right back up, slowly but steadily, and drawing back into herself once again. Since the recent announcement of the vulnerability theme she'd been especially quiet, and she was one of the only people who did not really contribute to conversations and ideas about what they would put on their boards.

Cameron's inability to let it go once he had that feeling that someone needed his help is what led to him and Marissa staying in alone while the rest of the contenders went out to the Italian restaurant down the street. Marissa cited a "pounding headache" as her reasoning for staying back, and he took this opportunity to try and talk to her.

Cameron walked out of the boys' dorm to find the common room empty, so he wandered toward the girls' dorm. He knocked lightly before walking in to see Marissa sitting up in her bed engrossed in a fashion magazine, looking longingly at the pages. She startled a little as he walked in and quickly tossed the magazine aside on the bed. She flashed him a smile and began fixing her hair.

"Hey, Cam," the redhead finally greeted him. "What's up? You didn't go to dinner?"

He smirked a little as he walked towards her bed and sat at the end. She pulled her knees up to her chest and rested her chin on them.

"I, uh, actually wanted to talk to you about something," he began, nervously fixing his glasses and running his hand through his hair.

"Go for it," she smiled again, but looked a little unsure at the same time.

He cleared his throat a bit. "I just feel like you're a little off lately, mostly since we started doing vulnerability. I mean, I know it's a hard week and everything, but I wanted to ask if you were okay."

As soon as he stopped speaking he could almost see her shutting down and throwing her walls up, not letting him get past. He almost gave up then and there, but the look on her face was a mixture of determination to stay strong and a clear desire to share whatever was torturing her mind.

Ultimately, her strength won out and she flashed him another smile that would have convinced him she were fine if he didn't _know_ that she was not.

"Yeah, I'm alright. This competition is pretty stressful and I think it may be getting to me a bit so I'm not sleeping well, but I'm totally fine. How are you doing?"

_Deflecting_. He knew that one well. A tactic he had heard many times before. As much as she seemed to be on the defense, he had an idea what was going on with her and he could tell she needed to get it out.

"I'm fine, Marissa, but… I don't really think you are. If you don't want to talk about it, if it's too hard... I understand, but I feel like you're struggling and I'd like to help if I can."

He waited for a response but she just pulled her knees in tighter and kept her gaze down.

He tried another approach.

"Have you, uh, decided what word you're going to put on your board? I know everyone's having a really hard time with the challenge. I think I'm gonna do 'misunderstood.' You know I don't exactly dress like all the other kids in Texas, and I wouldn't want to. I'm cool with who I am, but I wish other people were too."

He looked back up at her and it seemed as though he had peaked her interest a little bit by revealing his own insecurity. He had a feeling that whatever secret the redhead in front of them had eating at her was much more severe than his, but he could tell that confiding in her made her trust him a little more.

She smirked a little bit, but finally looked up. "This week sucks."

So it was a start.

* * *

><p>Marissa finally released her knees and straightened them out so that they were just resting on Cameron's lap. She knew exactly what he was getting at, and she knew she'd have to tell everyone eventually, but she wasn't sure she was ready.<p>

The main thing she was terrified of—besides admitting her anorexia on national television when her own family didn't even know—was the fact that the other contestants would start watching her, making veiled suggestions, and tracking her eating. And it wouldn't end at that, so when would it end? Would people always be watching her eating? And while she called herself recovered, she sometimes wondered if there is truly a way to ever be _fully_ recovered. She ate now—sometimes—but on days when she felt fat she couldn't put a thing in her mouth. Was that really recovered?

She was so ashamed of everything. People called her beautiful all the time, guys would hit on her, girls were supposedly jealous of her, but she could never see it. She knew she was talented, but was she really beautiful? In her mind beauty came in one size, and she wasn't there. But how could she admit to these friends how pathetic she was, and what she was doing to herself?

"Marissa," Cameron interrupted her thoughts as he grasped her small hand in his. "You can talk to me. I'm here for you no matter what and I'm not going to judge you."

The compassion on his face and the honest and pure tone of his voice simply broke her. All the years of hiding her secret suddenly became too much, and the floodgates broke for the first time, releasing too much pent up anxiety for her to handle. Within seconds she was sobbing so hard she couldn't breathe. She snatched her hand away and grabbed her chest, trying to get a breath in. Within seconds she Cameron move behind her, gathering her onto his lap and rubbing her back.

"Shhhh," he whispered as he rubbed circles on her back. "It's alright, Marissa, just breathe. You're okay."

"I'm anorexic, Cameron."

It felt as if her heart stopped as she said that. She had never really said it out loud; she had hardly admitted it to herself. She knew she had eating problems, but _anorexia_ was just such a nasty word.

"Well, I was. I think I'm better now. I mean, I'm better sometimes…"

He pulled her closer and hugged her tighter. "It's okay, you're alright. Marissa, you're so beautiful. You don't need to be doing this to yourself."

She sighed; he really didn't get it. "It's not just that, Cam. I can't… I can't explain it."

He smiled as she crawled off his lap and turned to face him. "You don't have to explain anything. I'm here for you—we're all here for you, and you don't have to be ashamed."

She smiled slightly as she leaned forward and hugged him again.

"Thank you. You have no idea how much I've been needing to hear that."

* * *

><p><em>Okayyy the end I'm completely aware that they're not exactly in character, but I don't really care. Reviews are nice. And I suck at endings, sorry.<em>


End file.
